so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How external is "for external use only"?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
