Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
