Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
