Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
