Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
