Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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