dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
