I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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