There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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