I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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