You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize