Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize