What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
