dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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