it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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