sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
