Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
