god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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