just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
