you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize