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I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize