she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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