You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
