it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
