Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
