I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
