worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize