im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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