who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
