from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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