How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
