Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
