Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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