and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
