I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
