I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize