i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
