I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
