My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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