I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
