We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
