I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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