You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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