i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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