Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
