Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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