did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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