ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
