Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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