oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize