hotel room ftw
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
