I wannas sexs uuuuu
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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