I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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