I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize