thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Randomize
