sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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